Thursday, July 30, 2009

Lessons in Geography

S: Nana's house in New Jersey is so awesome. Wait... New Jersey is that in the US?
Me: Ummm... yes.
S: Oh OK. I always get that one confused with Germany.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

I have this thing with the kids during the summer: if we go on an outing that will go through lunchtime, I encourage one of them to make a picnic for everyone. Surprisingly, they're totally into it! Even though they make the same 3 things each time, they LOVE feeling like they're surprising their brothers when it's their day to make lunch. Today we're going to the aquarium. Potato, my 7 year old friend, is in charge of lunches.
I just watched him put peanut butter on one piece of bread.
Then he put jelly on top of the peanut butter and spread it around.
Then he put jelly on the other piece of bread.

I looked at him with sort of pensive eyes, so he explained "Well one piece needs jelly and the other needs peanut butter before you put them together. But I like letting the peanut butter get used to the jelly before I throw more bread in the mix."


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

totally past my prime

The Philadelphia Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson died yesterday. The children were all concerned. The oldest told me "Yeah. He died because he didn't wear sunscreen." I KNOW that this is what their mom told them, but in a moment of poor judgement I admitted "You know, you can still get skin cancer even if you wear sunscreen. Just like you can still get lung cancer even if you don't smoke." The kids looked at me HORRIFIED. I backtracked quickly "I mean- it's MORE LIKELY you'll get skin cancer if you don't wear sunscreen, but pretty much every sunburn you get increases your chances of cancer."
Blank stares. Finally Tree says "I got a sunburn last week."
"Well... that's not good. That's why you should wear sunscreen."

I am pretty sure that it's a good time for me to move on.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


This morning Potato was asking The Tree about bowling, and when The Tree didn't respond, Potato (who's 7) yelled "What's wrong with you? Are you STONED? Answer me!!"


Monday, July 27, 2009

Fried Chicken?

Today J and I got to spend some quality time together since the girls were on playdates.

J: Victoria... are you thinking the same thing I'm thinking. I think you are!
Me: Well I don't know. What are you thinking?
J: No, no! You first. 
Me: Well... I'm thinking that it's a beautiful day out today. What are you thinking?
J: Oh. I guess were not thinking about the same thing then... because I'm thinking about fried chicken.

Fried chicken!?! Yup... definitely not thinking about the same thing!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Random Blabblings

Random tidbits overheard at Camp Vic today. 

"The king will be in his hot tub waiting for his turkey fried chicken!"

"Is it poisonous? I don't like to eat poisonous things you know... they make me throw up."
"It's ice cream. Why would I take you to a place that sells poisonous ice cream?"

"Would you prefer your boyfriend to have chest hair or no chest hair? I'd prefer chest hair, that way I can pull it out when I get mad at him!"

"I'm thinking about it, thinking about it, thinking about it. Oh wait... I forgot to think about it."
"You forgot to think about it?"
"Yeah because I was so busy thinking about thinking."

"Who gave me sugar? Oh wait... no... I'm just excessively energized!"

"You won't like it there. It smells bad. It's like China."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Where Did THIS Kid Come From?

I picked up Monkey's friend for a playdate about 45 minutes ago. The second he got in the car he said the following:
Hey Molly! How's your summer going? You know what my favorite baseball team is? It's not the Phillies. It's the sharks. I went to their game and there was a shark there. But don't worry. He wasn't real or anything. Just a man dressed up as one. And I wasn't even scared. I'm actually really brave. You know why? Because I'm five. Monkey's only four- right Monkey? But don't worry we can still be friends.

After we got home we went in the house and Mr. Z (the friend) JUMPED into my arms, because the 4 month old golden retriever was TERRIFYING to him.

Hidden Talents

My kiddos think I'm wonderful for the following reasons:
  • I have the amazing ability to drive with my knees, while simultaneously putting up my hair into a ponytail.
  • I make a mean grilled cheese (when I use the pan that doesn't hate me, or when I don't forget that I'm actually cooking the grilled cheese and let it get burnt).
  • I am the most amazing bed maker ever!
  • I am the best at cutting celery... because I actually know how to get the stringy things out. 
  • I am really really good at making mac n' cheese.
  • I own some very cool toys (i.e. my phone, my computer, and my DS of course!).
It's too bad adults aren't as easily impressed with these incredible talents. It's also too bad that these things just won't fly on a resume.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Ohmygosh cute

Yesterday when I came in to work, Monkey was being mean to me (which is rare.) He was asking his mom to send me home and refusing to speak to me. Eventually he forgot and started warming up to me. But when I put him down for his nap, we read a story and then he wanted me to cuddle him. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I don't know. I'm just grumpy. And so sad."
"Sad about me leaving?"
"You know we'll still be friends though, even when I'm not your babysitter, right?"
"BEST friends."
"Ok Money. BEST friends."
"Because you love me. And it's unconditional?"
"And Molly?"
"Yes Monkey?"
"You know that when I'm being mean to you, I'm still loving you. Right?"
"Of course."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

So Gross I Needed To Share

In addition to my kiddos M,S, and J, I have six other munchkins in my life. On the side, when my kiddos are in school or on vacation, I pick up some extra hours babysitting my friend Kristen's* six wonderful children. While I was not actively involved with this story, or even there when it happened, it is just so gross I felt it needed to be shared with everyone! The other day Kristen called me to fill me in on a funny Harry* (her 12 year old) story. I was expecting something that I would be hysterically laughing about... not something I would be so horrifically grossed out about!

So last week Harry ended up spending the night at his cousin's house. The next day when he came home he was so tired from all the fun that he had had the night before that he ended up taking a little nap (outside on the porch). After he woke up he decided to go get clean and take a bath. A little while later Harry emerged from the bathroom and went to hunt down Kristen (who at the time was frantically scurrying around the house getting ready to leave for a wake that was starting in just a couple of hours). Harry announced to Kristen that he had a "bug" in his ear, and that he had tried to wash it out in the tub but had no luck. Kristen, who happens to actually own a doctor's ear scope, took a peek inside Harry's ear. Sure enough there was something inside his ear. GROSS! Kristen couldn't tell quite what it was but she could see it moving, and Harry could hear it buzzing, so they assumed it was something with wings! After poking and prodding at Harry's ear attempting to catch the "bug" with tweezers, Q-tips, the vacuum cleaner, and flushing it with hydrogen peroxide there was still no luck, so they called the pediatrician. The dumbfounded pediatrician had no advice, and told them to seek out some help at the ER. Once at the ER Kristen had hoped Harry would have a total meltdown, so that they could be seen right away (as she was now late for the wake). However, Harry being ever so uncooperative refused to play his mother's game. But... the fact that he had a "bug" in his ear apparently proved reason enough to be seen quickly. Thank goodness! Once Harry was ushered to a room EVERYONE at the ER wanted to come visit the boy with the "bug" in his ear. The doctors tried various different ways to extract the creepy crawly from Harry's ear but they too were unsuccessful at first. Harry had to keep reminding them after each failed attempt, that even if they were making some progress the "bug" was still alive. The doctors didn't exactly believe Harry... until he explained that he could still hear it buzzing inside his ear! EEK! Finally the doctors had some success with several large syringes filled with water. They were able to push the water into Harry's ear just so, and eventually the "bug" floated to a place in Harry's ear where the doctor could catch it with some tweezers. A very wet Harry proclaimed that the water sounded like Niagra Falls, but he was relieved that the "bug" turned out to be a moth and not a bee. So, somewhere between his cousin's house and his backyard a lovely little moth decided to fly into Harry's ear and make it its new home! Harry is now developing a new phobia to moths!

*name change!

How Not To Relay Phone Messages

The other day S decided to greet her dad (P) the second he walked through the door, not with a hello, but instead with his phone messages. 

S: Hey Dad... blah, blah, blah, blah... oh yeah, and Nan (the kiddos' grandmother) called, she wants to know what she can bring when she comes. 
P: Who called? Bring what?
S: You know NAN... your MOTHER!


Here is an incomplete list of songs that I wish the kids wouldn't sing:

Love Games

Birthday Sex

The Seed


and, of course,

Bad Babysitter (which I will note they learned from their mom.)


Sometimes the best way to kill time is to break out my camera. They would enjoy hamming it up for hours if I'd let them.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Talk

I've been with this family for five years, but as of this fall I will be going to grad school full time. I decided this officially about two weeks ago, and my boss told me that she hadn't told the kids, and to respect that decision, I didn't talk about it. But then this morning I got an email from her saying "FYI, I'm starting to interview nannies this week. First one is tonight, could you tell the kids?"
SO. I worried and stressed for about an hour. And then I had the talk with them.
Me: So, I wanted to let you guys know that your mom is starting to look for a new sitter for you guys because I need to go back to school more seriously. I'll be with you ALL summer, but in the fall I won't be your sitter anymore.
(no response.)
Me: Do you guys have any questions or anything you want to share?
Potato: I'm okay with it. I thought you were going to leave when I was six, so this is borrowed time as far as I'm concerned.
Monkey: Why are your toenails red? Last week they were purple.

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Smokehouse

Running errands with my kiddos always tends to end in some sort of minor disaster, and our recent trip to The Smokehouse to purchase some sausages was no exception. It's the end of a long rainy day, we enter into the dorm sized store, the kids are bumming because there are no free samples, and I'm confused as I stare at all of the sausage choices and attempt to remember which ones the kiddos' dad asked me to pick up. BUT these factors did not stop my three darlings from managing to embarrass me. I seriously can't take them anywhere! To set the scene let me just tell you that all three of them have decided to make it their job to find me someone to date. And I should also add that they are neither too quiet about what they say, or too sly about what they do. 

M: Hey Victoria, you should kiss him (as she motions towards the person working behind the counter)!
Me: Uh, M... that's a woman.
M: Ohhhhhh. Oops!

Needless to say I tried to exit as gracefully as I could.

A Little About Counselor Victoria

                        Camp Vic                                                 Real Life

I've been with my current family just shy of a year now, although, I have been nannying in some capacity, and for various different families, since I graduated college (6 years ago! yikes!). The kids and I live (NOT together!) in different towns on the South Shore of Massachusetts. Our days together are spent running around from activity to activity, me attempting to keep them organized and orderly, and them choosing the best form of torture to utterly embarrass me in public! It's great! 

My current kiddos tend to think that I have no other life outside of them. Often times I am forced to remind them that this just isn't true. Case in point: M likes to constantly remind me of the things I didn't help her with. When I explain to her that I didn't help her due to the fact that I was not there (and was out living my "real" life) she finds my answer totally unacceptable, and then looks at me like I'm crazy. Occasionally my "real" life and my nanny life will collide for some reason, and when this happens watch out, because there are always three kiddos left confused in the aftermath. Their standard questions are (all the while asked while staring at me as though I've just stepped out of an episode of the Body Snatchers, and their real Counselor Vic is never to return): "Did you get a haircut?" (Answer: No, I just actually blow-dried my hair today... and left it down!), "Why are you wearing eye stuff?" (Answer: You mean why did I put on a tiny bit of eye shadow... and mascara?), "Why are you all dressed up?" (Answer: They're called khakis. And I didn't think that sweatpants would be appropriate for (insert whatever event is being attended later in the day).). S then always tends to pipe in, in an attempt to lessen the blows, with a "Well you look very pretty!". Thanks S! I typically then spend the rest of the day feeling out of place, and fielding questions left and right as to where the real Counselor Vic has gone! 

Aren't kids wonderful?!?

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Camp field trip to Molly's house!

The kids love my apartment. I live in a teeny tiny one bedroom apartment in an "artsy" part of town. But even with the newest addition to their family (a baby golden retriever) I have one thing that conquers all: cats!
But on Thursday I had to take the two youngest out of the house, as we were getting in the cleaning lady's way. So what do you do on a rainy day with two kids and no spending money? Go check out the cats. I warned them on the way "My apartment is really dirty, so NO comments about it. I'm too busy and I can't afford a cleaning lady, so I'll only take you there if you promise to not make me feel bad about it."
Potato (the middlest): Okay Molly. We PROMISE. I don't even care if it's dirty. I just want to see your cats.
Monkey (the littlest): Yeah I just care about cats. (pause.) But molly?
Me: Yes?
Monkey: I don't understand. Why don't you just make your husband clean the place? Can't you just tell him you're tired and that's his job?
Me: Well, I think he gets tired too, and he really doesn't care if it's messy or not.
Potato: Well. I think he just says he doesn't care because he's lazy.
Monkey: Yeah. Or maybe he wants you to move out?


There are several reasons to not seek marital advice from children.

Meet My Campers

left to right: M (the very mature headstrong 11 year old), J (the quirky too cute for words 7 year old), and S (the sweet even tempered 9 year old)!

Camp Vic is in full force now that these three cuties are out of school! These three wonders are the product of one very secure family network, with their single dad as the head. I've been taking care of them for about a year (but since I do overnight jobs for them quite frequently it seems like it's been far longer!). So without further ado let me introduce you to the kiddos! 

M: This very athletic soon to be middle schooler enjoys swimming and soccer, hanging out with her best buddy K, and loves her two adorable kitty boys. She is however, petrified of anything creepy crawly, and insists upon screaming at the top of her lungs and yelling at me to do something about them (without harming the bug of course). 

S: This little girl has had quite a lot to deal with in her life, however, she has never let any of it get her down, or dampen her sunny disposition. She loves all things pink and girly, and always attempts to be the voice of reason amongst her siblings. She's loyal through and through, all the while being totally unaware of the fact that everyone loves her!

J: This guy is QUITE the character! With a sweet personality unlike any you've ever seen, and his keen sense of humor, this charmer is the life of the party. He loves to sing and dance (even though his sisters yell at him ALL the time for being an embarrassment to them), and has quite the way with the ladies (of all ages too I might add!). His sisters hate that their friends love him, and he loves that his sisters have such cute friends! He has a penchant for walking slow, and hates when I ask him to actually do things... due to the fact he much rather "read" his LEGO catalogue. 

A Little About Camp Molly

Vic so kindly set up this blog for us, as we both are nannies and get an extra dose of kid time during the summer. We both have enjoyed eachother's kid stories, and are finally putting them all in one place! Sadly, I will be ending my five year stint as a nanny this September, so this is a particularly emotional time for me. But hopefully this blog will help me keep track of my last summer with these boys!